


Can We Be Different

by AbsinthexMind



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: ? - Freeform, Arranged Marriage, Attraction, Confusion, F/M, Hate Sex, Implied/Referenced Incest, Love/Hate, OOC Jaime?, Sexual Confusion, baratheon!reader, so he might be a little bit out of character, this is my first time writing for him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-01
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2019-03-25 17:23:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13839486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbsinthexMind/pseuds/AbsinthexMind
Summary: He was the man you yourself had fantasized about. For years while living with your husband the only way you were able to suffer through his nightly visits was thinking about Jaime.Did you still want to entertain that fantasy though now that it was right in front of you?





	Can We Be Different

King’s Landing. You breathe in the salt air as your ship approaches the city. It had been years since you had last seen your brothers. King Robert was your eldest brother, ruler of all of Westeros. The Red Keep offered a glare in the bright sun like a beacon welcoming you. For the past couple of years you had been living with your husband. Once Robert had assumed the Iron Throne he decided to marry you off to ensure alliances. You complied and went along with the arrangement although you didn’t like the man you were to be wed to one bit. He was pompous, arrogant, and gluttonous. He thought he could do and get away with anything just because he was wed to the king’s sister. You endured his endless pawing and thanked the gods each day that he did not get you with child. Even his seed was pathetic. 

You didn’t anticipate how much Robert had changed. 

“(y/n)! There’s my baby sister!” He guffaws as you step onto the shore. 

You try not to stare at the fat bellied man who advanced toward you. What had happened to your handsome brother? He had always been a maiden’s fantasy. Now though. . . you found it hard to pick out the features that might have belonged to your brother. There was nothing left of what he once used to be except for his rich blue eyes that all of Steffon Baratheon’s children possessed. 

Forcing a smile you embrace him. “Robert. Or should I address you as your grace?” 

His belly nearly bumps you as he lets out a roarous laughter. With a meaty arm still around you he chauffeurs you toward the rest of your family. You release a breath seeing that your other brother didn’t appear to have drastically changed. The absence of Stannis was noted but Renly eagerly dashed forward to embrace you. He was a man grown now. He was no longer the little boy that used to tug incessantly on your skirts just to bug you. You were five years older than Renly and had been the one to watch over him when the two of you were younger seeing as Robert was living in the vale and Stannis wasn’t exactly the warmest. Needless to say you and Renly were especially close to one another. 

Renly picked you up in his embrace and twirled you around happily. You laugh into his neck and playfully demand that he put you down. “I’m never letting you leave again! Your husband will have to fight me!” 

“Now Renly, lets not start another war. You Baratheon men are all battle hungry, I swear.” Teasing you cup his clean shaven face. He had grown so much. “It’s good to see you.” 

His eyes gloss over and he hides it by hugging you again. “I’m happy to see you’re doing well. I’ve been worried about you.” 

“Enough of this blubber fest.” Robert proclaims and steers you toward a beautiful, blonde, haired woman that you remembered was his queen. She too had grown even more beautiful. 

You curtsy in front of her. “Queen Cersei.” 

She smiles. “Lady (y/n). Nice to see you again.” 

“You’re even lovelier than last time I saw you.” 

Her smile widens, she was one of those women who liked to have their feathers fluffed. Beside her are three blonde haired children, not a dark head in sight. They all took after their gorgeous mother. “Allow me to introduce my children.” Cersei pulls forward a young boy with full, pouting, lips who looks to want to be anywhere but there. “This here is our eldest, Joffrey. Joff, this is your aunt (y/n). What do we say?” 

He forces a smile to appease his mother. “Pleased to meet you.” 

Next to him was a little girl whom Cersei introduced as Myrcella. She was all smiles as she greeted you. The youngest of her children was a boy by the name of Tommen. Like his sister he beams up at you and instantly goes to hug you. Toddlers know no such thing as etiquette, even if they do happen to be a prince. His septa lunges to restrain him, but Tommen already has his arms wrapped around a leg. Cersei waves the useless septa away and gently coaxes him off of you. 

“I’m sorry.” She apologizes. 

“Don’t be. He’s just a little one.” As adorable as he was, there wasn’t a hint of Baratheon anywhere on Tommen or his siblings. They were purely Lannister. 

“I’ve had enough of standing around.” Your eldest brother huffs. “Lets get back to the Keep and out of this blasted heat.” Robert pats his face with a handkerchief, cheeks turning redder than the stones that make up the Red Keep. It wasn’t even that hot out. Inwardly you sigh, thinking about the magnificent warrior he had once been. 

“Do tell where our other brother is.” You ask Renly on your procession to the Red Keep. 

Renly groans. “You know him. He’s still upset over the fact that Robert save me Storm’s End. He wouldn’t even put his hurt feelings aside to see you.” 

There was nothing to be done about Stannis. You loved him as you did your other two brothers, but he had always been so stand-offish and would merely suffer through your affections with an awkward pat to your head. Still it would have been nice to see him. 

Gold Cloaks and the King’s Guards flag both sides of you and your entourage. You caught the sight of Ser Jaime Lannister, the queen’s twin brother. That’s what a king should look like. That’s what Robert used to look like before he let himself go. What wanted to ask him what the hell had happened. But he was no longer just your brother, he was your king now. You couldn’t ask your king why he had gotten so fat. 

Jaime’s green eyes caught your’s staring and he offers you a cocky smirk. Averting your gaze you concentrate on approaching the Red Keep. The Kingslayer as he was well known as; thanks to Jaime Lannister your brother now sat on the Iron Throne. Just like every other Lannister you had met he was golden and beautiful. 

And most likely just as sneaky like the rest of them. 

There was a feast in your honor that night and you were thankful for the constricting corset you wore. It prevented you from eating more than you should. By the time the merriment had come to an end you were pretty sure that you’d barely be able to waddle back to your room. Belly full and head buzzing from the endless amount of wine you had consumed, Renly came to your rescue and helped you up and back to your room. You were a giggling mess the entire way making even Renly chuckle along. Your giggling had always been contagious. Shamelessly you stumbled, nearly twisting your ankle and Renly had you take off your heels. 

This is the most fun I’ve had in ages! My husband is such a bore. All he wants to do is stick his pathetic, shriveled, cock inside of me.” Snorting you lean heavily against your brother’s arm. The corridor was dark except for the faint glow of the torch’s flame mounted on the wall; you relied heavily on Renly to guide you. 

His grip tightens on your arm, jaw hardening at your words. “You shouldn’t go back. I told Robert that man wasn’t right for you.” 

“It doesn’t matter if he’s right for me or not. Robert finds him useful and needs to keep him on his side. I have to go back.” You felt numb just thinking about your life. You weren’t happy the least bit; just living had become a chore. When Robert finally asked for your presence you all too readily jumped at the opportunity. The further you got away from your husband the more that dark curtain over your heart lifted. 

Holding onto Renly’s bicep you hug it. “I missed seeing you grow into such a fine young man.” 

Renly is about to say something to you but instead addresses someone else that you had failed to realize had been following you. “Ser Jaime. What can I do for you?” 

“I was instructed to make sure Lady (y/n) arrived safely to her room.” He emerges from the dark. “I didn’t mean to intrude.” 

“I’m sure you didn’t” Renly manages to make his smile appear genuine. “As you can see though my sister has me to escort her.” 

Jaime seems to look down at the ground then back up to your face. “You’re missing your shoes.” 

“You try wearing these bloody things!” You show him that you’re carrying your aforementioned shoes. 

He chuckles, blonde bangs casting shadows over his lilypad green eyes. “I’m afraid I could never fit my feet into those.” 

Huffing you nudge Renly to keep walking. “You wouldn’t be able to last a minute in these shoes Ser Knight.” 

Grinning, Jaime nods and leaves, possibly to go back and attend your brother considering when you had left Robert was still drinking heavily. 

“He’s cute.” You slur your words unintentionally but Renly was still able to decipher them. 

“I didn’t know men like Jaime were your type.” 

“After being with my husband any man looks good to me. All women find Jaime Lannister attractive though. You should hear some of the women in my lord husband’s household. Swooning and saying how lucky I am to have Jaime as my brother-in-law. Why should that make me lucky? He’s of no use to me.” 

That makes him laugh as you finally make it to your room. It was true though. You couldn’t marry him let alone fuck him. But gods, you bet he’d be able to give you a good rut. Only able to imagine his body towering over your own as he pounds into you. The very thought made you quiver and cross your legs together to suppress the tingling between them. Your fantasies wouldn’t stop though, imagining his calloused fingers digging into your hips as he drives his cock past your wet folds. 

You couldn’t sleep with all those thoughts driving you mad. 

Tossing your covers off, your feet pad over to the window in your room. You open it to feel the cool breeze wash over your hot face. 

The last time you were in King’s Landing was for your own wedding. Robert had insisted that it be a big affair. He hadn’t started to gain weight back then since it was shortly after the war. It was Jaime who had escorted you to your litter that would transport you to the Sept of Baelor. He was the one to also help you out and hold your hand as you walked up the steps. Of course your brother would only have his best knight protect his sister. With each step that he helped you walk up, you pretended that you were actually marrying Jaime. A young girl’s foolish fantasies. You couldn’t fool yourself once you saw your future husband at the steps of the altar. You wanted to run. Maybe that was another reason why Jaime had been assigned to your side; to make sure that you didn’t. Still, you wouldn’t let on to how scared you were. Your brother was king and at that moment all eyes were on you. You would not fail him. 

And you didn’t. 

Years later you were still suffering through your wifely duties. You would make sure to burn the memory of Jaime into your mind though. Mentally bring him back with you. Maybe just thinking about him would be enough to endure your husband’s touches.  
  
  
*Six years later*  
  
  


“Jaime fucking Lannister.” You laugh out, not quite believing your eyes. He looked so much older than when you last had saw him; he seemed to even be missing a body part. 

In disbelief himself he does a double take; once bright green eyes that were now darkened widen. “(y/n) Bara-” 

Before he could finish saying your last name you put your index finger up to your lips. “To have that last name is dangerous nowadays. Your sister has made sure of that. Not to mention that Stannis hasn’t made things any better.” 

“Yes. . . She has been looking for you.” Jaime murmurs and motions for you to take the seat in front of him. You pause wondering if this was the best idea. Slowly you look around at the other Lannister soldiers who had situated themselves in the inn you worked at. You wondered who they had just killed. Tentatively you sit down across from Jaime, still a little distrustful and on edge. All cockiness he had six years ago seemed to be gone along with his right hand. Much more mature now, he gently smiled at you; trying to make you feel more at ease. 

“How did you end up in a place like this?” Voice low, his left hand carefully reaches out for his chalice that you had just brought him. 

“Reporting to your sister?” A bit defensively, you weren’t ready to reveal anything to him. 

Pensive for a moment, Jaime shakes his head. “No. Just talking. I’m curious. Your husband reported you missing after you got the news of Robert’s death. Not even Varys’ little birds could find you.” 

“Because I didn’t want to be found.” 

His smile widens. “Apparently.’ He offers you his drink with a shaky grip and you take it just so he didn’t drop it on accident. “Why did you run?” 

Pressing your lips together your fingers tap on the rim of the cup. “My gut told me to run. And seeing that Robert was dead. I had no reason to stay with that man. So” you shrug “I ran. Didn’t really know where. Eventually I bumped into a Tyrell soldier. They told me that Margaery of High Garden was marrying Renly. When I told him who I was he seemed shocked. Apparently both my brother _and_ Cersei were looking for me. The troop delivered me to my brother and there I stayed until. . . until he too was killed. Margaery told me that I should stay with her. The Tyrells would keep me safe. I wanted to believe her. As long as the lion is in power though, I’ll never be safe. I’m glad I didn’t stay, knowing now that she would end up marrying Joffrey.” You move the chalice away from you, not even taking a sip. 

“I’m. . .” What could he say? His family was partly to blame for everything. Jaime knew that. 

“You don’t have to say anything.” You get up. “The only thing you can do for me is not tell Cersei. Gods only knows what she’ll do to me.” You yourself didn’t know why she was after you. Perhaps it was because you were aware of Robert’s bastards and that threatened any of her childrens’ claim to the throne. If what Stannis had told all of Westeros was true then none of those golden haired children were of your brother’s blood. 

That they were really Jaime’s. 

Slowly he nods. “Yes. Of course. . .” 

Not even a few steps taken, Jaime is already calling you back. 

“I’m glad to see you. That you’ve survived.” 

His sincerity caught you. Jaime really had changed. 

“Can I see you after you get off?” 

It could be a trap. Make you bring down your guard and lure you in with fake gentleness. For all you knew, Jaime could be pretending to be different. You thought of your wedding day though and of the first night back in King’s Landing. You could be making a big mistake. 

You found yourself still ever the foolish girl and agree.  
  
  


Subconsciously you pat the dagger strapped to your thigh. If he truly did plan to harm you, you would go down fighting. And if your blade skills failed well. . . you had a back up for that. In your ring waited poison. You weren’t stupid enough to go into a meet up with the Kingslayer without being prepared. Even if he only did have one hand he was still capable of violence. 

You took a deep breath and knocked on his door. It opened a few seconds later and Jaime let you inside. Even with his armor off he still looked intimidating. 

“What did you want?” You wanted to get down to business. 

Jaime sighs, not knowing how to start. You noticed the gold hand that had been on his right had been removed revealing his stump. “A lot had happened and I’ve been left to think a lot.” He moves his stump. 

“And what have you thought about, Jaime Lannister?” You cross your arms just to put on airs that you were strong and didn’t care about what he had to say about his own hardships. But you were curious. Obviously he had been through a lot. You’d lost your brothers but at least you still had both of your hands. 

“About Cersei. About my life. The things others have said. I’ve always known that everyone hates us but I didn’t care. I loved her. No one else mattered except for us. But things have transpired that have made me think differently.” 

Pursing your lips you perch on the very edge of the bed. “Why are you telling me this? Are you going to kill me and send my corpse to your sister?!” 

“No-” 

“It’s true what they say about the two of you?” You growl out and get up, unable to sit still. 

His Adam’s apple bobs in his throat and you swear you had never seen such a timid expression on Jaime Lannister before. “Yes. . .” 

Running a hand through your hair you press your eyes shut feeling it difficult to breathe. “Did she have Robert killed?” 

He hesitates but murmurs out a faint yes. 

“May you and your family burn in hell.” Seething you move to leave but like the previous time, he stops you; imploring that you stay. You yell at him, scream how you hate him and the Lannisters and if it weren’t for them you would still have your brothers and all of Westeros wouldn’t be at war with one another. You cursed him, beating your fist against his chest over and over again until you’re completely blinded by treacherous tears. 

_Robert_

_Renly_

Even Stannis, though he was still alive you no longer saw him as your brother. His resentment over Storm’s End had led him to become one of the self-proclaimed warring kings. 

You found yourself pressed against Jaime’s chest as your fingers merely dig and tear into the flesh of his arm. Sobbing you lose all desire to fight him. 

He held you for gods knows how long until you quieted down and rested limply in his arms. 

“I vow to you that I won’t tell Cersei of your whereabouts and to gut any man who may threaten your safety in telling her.” 

You snort and pull away from him to wipe your face. “Would you dare go against your lover?” Pointing out spitefully you sit back down on the edge of his bed. “Can you even fight with your left hand?” 

Jaime grins and dares to sit next to you. “I’ve been learning.” 

You prayed that he never did learn how to fight as well with his left hand. 

Tentatively you place your hand on top of his stump making Jaime reel back at first but when he realized that you didn’t intend to hurt him he relaxes back and allows the contact. 

“What happened Jaime? You said that something happened that changed things between you and Cersei.” 

“I saw it.” 

“Saw what?” 

He angles his face to look at you. “The monster that everyone else sees in her. I didn’t want to see it. Not her. Not Cersei. Even if she was I told myself that I would still love her.” 

“Seems like you became more human when you lost your hand.” 

Chuckling, Jaime nods. “I suppose so.” 

“What’re you going to do now? You’re still part of the King’s Guard I assume. Can’t really disobey the Queen Regent. She’s shown time and time again what she does to those who disobey her. Even if you are her lover and the mother of her children.” He doesn’t reply, only staring in contemplation at the wall in front of you. The inn itself was nice, in need of some repair, but overall liveable. There were cracks in the wall, mere hairlines due to the years it had been standing. You examine them too, hoping to find his answer. You knew though. He would return to her. Jaime would always be bound to Cersei whether it be through his knightly duties to the crown or because of his unnatural love for her. Sighing you tell him “I wish you luck. May the gods at least have some mercy on you in the war to come.” 

“I thought you wanted me dead.” He jokes, low voice seeming to kiss your ear. 

You grin. “I still do. May your death be a quick one.” When you stand you’re stunned when he encircles his arms around your waist and buries his face against your back. You hold your breath. 

His nose nuzzles against you. “Tonight. Stay with me.” 

“You really think that’s a good idea?” 

“Probably not.” His laugh is dry as he turns you around. Gazing up at you you find the young man that women had swooned over. The outstanding knight you had seen your first day back in King’s Landing. The one that had escorted you to your wedding. Jaime’s eyes were so alive and bright that you could understand why Cersei was in love with her own brother. 

A part of you felt like it would be a betrayal to your brothers. Jaime had done nothing to stop his sister from killing Robert. He probably encouraged it. And because of Robert’s death, so many tragic events had unfolded that lead to Renly’s demise as well. 

He was the man you yourself had fantasized about though. For years while living with your husband the only way you were able to suffer through his nightly visits was thinking about Jaime. 

Did you still want to entertain that fantasy though now that it was right in front of you? 

Shakingly you cup his face with your hands. He closes his eyes as if relishing in your gentle touch. 

Could things be different, just this once? Could you forget about all that had happened? 

Jaime’s lips press against your palm in a sweet kiss. 

Just this once. 

Just this once and then you’d never see him again. 

Leaning down your lips ghost over Jaime’s for a mere second just before Jaime closes the gap in a hungry kiss that threatened to devour you whole. His left hand grips onto your waist and pulls you down on top of him as his back hits the mattress. You gasp at his assertiveness and at how you were now straddling his hips; hands pressed against his chest so that you weren’t completely laying on top of him. There was an urgency in his kisses, in his touches that made your heart race erratically. Jaime was starving. Starving for what, you didn’t know. Maybe a touch other than Cersei’s. You couldn’t know. Your head was clouded in lust as your fingers weaved themselves in his golden mane, hips rolling against him that had his hand gripping your ass to press you further against his hard on. His hands were frantic, unable to decide where to rest themselves while his stump could only poke and prod, unable to grasp anything. Jaime sits up for a moment just to remove his shirt as his hand went to undo the lacings of your gown. You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him while your hands were preoccupied with groping at his hardened cock through the material of his pants. He groans, thrusting his hips against your hand, begging for you to remove the intrusive layer of clothing. You let him groan and whine as you continue to rub your palm against the fabric as he catches the skin of your neck between his teeth and gives it a sharp nip, reprimanding you for denying him gratification. Indulging in his urgency your hand delves into his pants to start stroking his hot shaft that seems to pulse in your grip. With your other hand you start to pull down his trousers so that they rested around his thighs. It was the best you could manage with your hand still softly stroking his cock and his own hand occupied with cupping your breast. As he sits up, he pushes your back down on the bed so that you were now underneath him; his hand around your throat but not in a threatening manner. Jaime applied only the most delicate of pressure as his right arm tried to move your leg so that it wrapped around his waist. A difficult task for one without a hand but you knew what he wanted. You hooked your leg around him, pushing him closer to your core that waited impatiently for him. 

Jaime’s hand trails away from your throat and down between the valley of your breasts, across the plain of your stomach and slid onto your hooked thigh. Jaime pauses, uncertain of what to do with his other useless arm. He places it beside your head on the mattress to stabilize himself. He gazes at you for a heartbeat, merely drinking you in as if he was trying to remember every little detail of you. You knew you weren’t quite as pretty as you may have used to be nor were you as beautiful as his sister. Still he leaned over you to press his forehead against your’s and kiss you before he jerked his hips and thrusted into you. Your lips part as your fingers claw into the bedding beneath you; his cock dragging back and forth inside of you, constricted by your tight walls. It wasn’t the rapid jack rabbit thrusts that your husband used to do. Maybe coming from Jaime and done properly, you may have enjoyed it; but this was different. Each thrust was calculated, different from his passionate and desperate kisses. You thought he would ravage you like there was no tomorrow. Make you sore so that you wouldn’t be able to move in the morning. It wasn’t a fuck. Jaime Lannister was making love. He was taking his time and making sure that the pleasure was mutual. He wanted you to feel just as much as he was. You’d always seen him as a selfish lover. You wondered if he made love to Cersei like this. Of course he must’ve. No matter what kind of love they had, it was love. Had he ever had sex with any other woman beside his sister? 

The prodding of his cock hitting your sweet spot mind your mind go blank from any thought that may have been traveling through your head. Your breathing grew labored as you clung to him now, nails scratching and clawing up his back as they had done to the bed. You felt it, that iminent build up that would drag you down to your climax. Chanting his name like a prayer you begged him for release now. With each continuous thrust you felt your walls clamp tighter and tighter around him. Jaime wasn’t letting up, hitting home against the spot inside of you that made you see stars. All you saw were stars and all you heard was his hips smacking into your’s with each slam of his cock. You couldn’t take it anymore. 

No sound left you as you opened your mouth, body trembling as the build up of pressure finally exploded inside of you. Jaime moans at the seizing of you around his shaft and he followed you shortly after. 

There were more rounds after that that led into the wee hours of the morning. By your last rut Jaime was fast asleep yet you forced yourself to stay awake. You watched his face as he slept soundly. 

Even if he promised not to tell Cersei you knew you couldn’t stay in the same place for too long. 

Jaime appeared to be so much younger when he slept. Vulnerable and defenseless. You could kill him now if you wanted to. He hadn’t mentioned the knife you had strapped to your thigh. Of course he must’ve seen it. You also had the poison in your ring. 

You would be celebrated as a hero for killing Jaime Lannister. You would also be Cersei’s number one enemy. She wouldn’t stop until you were beheaded. 

But did you want to kill him? 

Revenge only bred more revenge. 

Quickly and quietly you get dressed but remove your ring and leave it on the nightstand. 

With one last look at the slumbering Lannister you leave to join the breaking of dawn.


End file.
